How I Traumatize My Children

Gus has always been the monkey of the family. His physical prowess has always amazed us. From his first steps at 8 months to leaping off the Gordon’s play structure at two and landing in a tuck and roll uninjured, he very rarely missteps and if he does there a tough man act to coincide with the injury. When Will entered our world we knew very early he was wired differently. When brushing their teeth the boys used a 6 inch step stool. Gus would leap off and stick the landing every time. Will, cautious to a fault, would sit down on the stool then walk away. Years later Will, a gazelle among humans, maybe not in grace but in knobby kneed legs, still is very cautious.

The other day he asked for some hot chocolate. Deeply entrenched in recipe clippings I told him to help himself and showed him where the mugs where. Since they’re rarely used in our house they are perched on the very top shelf of the cabinet. Will tried to mount the counter unaided, but his arms didn’t have the strength to hoist him up. He resorted to a chair, but still wasn’t tall enough to reach, so he would have to get on the countertop. Remembering his cautious soul you’ll know he couldn’t stand upright, that would be too high. So on bended left knee and flat right foot he attempted to grasp the mug. Now, I know you’re saying, “Kendrea, why didn’t you just get the mug for him?” Well, I want him to be self-sufficient and I was positive he could manage this task. Besides, my daughter-in-law will appreciate the effort someday. O.k., back to Will teetering on the countertop, his out stretched right hand grabbing for the mug, but he needed a extra inch, so he went to tippy toe on the right foot, which throw off his balance and down went the mug with a crash. Personally, not a big deal here. We have a ton of mugs and honestly I believe just like the plastic bags under the sink, they reproduce in the dark. I came over telling Will, “It’s o.k., I’ll clean it up.” I looked up at him while crouching on the floor. His eyes are enormous and tears are filling them. He didn’t want to cry. He says instead, “It’s really dry in here.” So in the future I suppose Will will even be more cautious. Sorry daughter-in-law to be. But trust me, he’ll always has a good excuse for watery eyes.