28 Days

It’s been 28 days since my last sip of Diet Pepsi. If I were an alcoholic or a drug addict I’d be leaving rehab today. I’d be entering the world of temptation and enticement. While in rehab I would have learned coping skills. Hours and hours would have been spent trying to recover, to weed through those things I should shun and the friends, the enablers, I should evade. Yet there was no Diet Pepsi Rehab available to me. I have had to fight my battle alone. With only willpower on my side I ventured forth. This addiction that haunted me so, I battled it and I believe I have come out victorious. At this point, I can say I have not had one sip and only a couple cravings, triggered by the taste of pizza.

There have been a couple of differences. Getting out of bed in the morning is much easier. This happened the last time I got the monkey off my back. The alarm goes off and I’m up ready to take on the day. My headaches have also decreased.

It’s all been positive so far. I will soldier on.

Doomsday Approaches

I have a surgery date. December 28th I will be in surgery around 9:30 am.

Honestly, this whole thing has been to a certain extent surreal. I know the Achilles tendon is hosed. I know the cast didn't work. I know the CAM walker didn't work. But for some reason I have felt like the surgery is just ridiculous. I can walk on it when I'm not wearing anything, so why won't I just continue with life and wait for the bugger to snap. Well, I know why not. You don't know what will make it happen: walking up the stairs, getting the mail, pushing a grocery cart. Who knows? This thing can blow at anytime. And repairing a partially torn Achilles tendon is much easier than fixing a completely separately one. With all that knowledge I still have felt like I'm being a big weirdo about the whole thing and I should just live with it until what happened today. I do believe in fate and destiny. Here's one example.

For Thanksgiving we went to Fort Wayne. Halfway down I turned off my phone to save the battery. I had given the surgery scheduler, Liz, both the home phone number and my cell number on Tuesday. Liz said she's get back to me on Wednesday to Friday. O.k. so my phone is off all day from around 12:30 pm on Wednesday, but on Thursday night I call my parents to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving like every good daughter should. After our call I turn the phone off. Then Angela, Andy’s new girlfriend decides to make real whipped cream. Mary starts to go nuts about it and I just have to call my mom to tell her the buck had been passed to the next generation—see footnote 1. I made the call, but forgot to turn off the phone. There is sat all night running out of juice. At around 10:30 am on Friday I was in the spare bedroom, getting the boys dressed when the phone rang. It was Liz. It was meant to be. The phone could have been off. I could have been anywhere else and not heard it. She could have only called the home phone. The church of Quinky-Dink rejoices!

I now have to figure out how I’m going to manage the boys on crutches.

Footnote-
1 Since Joe and I got married Mary has had a conniption fit every time I try to cook anything. “You don’t need to do that. Please don’t bother yourself. Honestly, anything to fill the gut. You don’t need to hassle.” It’s really frustrating, because I really love to cook and Joe does not believe Mary’s motto, “Anything to full the gut.” He expects beautiful freshly prepared meals every meal. I also love it when they’re around; I can do cook without the kids at me constantly, because Jerry keeps them so entertained. So Mary if you’re reading this, please understand just because you don’t like doing something it doesn’t mean everyone hates doing something. I really enjoy cooking and I find it relaxing and fulfilling both gastronomically and mentally. Preparing a meal for family and friends is a special treat. Though, I must admit it was fun to see Angela struggle with Mary a bit. I knew it wasn’t just me.

Kendrea to the Rescue Again!

I really think my friends need to get their allergies under control.

It happened again. I am a medical emergency magnet, an MEM. I received a call from a friend, who shall remain un-named. This particular person was at a riding stable with her child who was competing, when she realized her slight allergy to horses had taken a turn for the worst. Her breathing became difficult and she felt like her throat was closing up. Naturally, she called me. Granted I have the monopoly on Epi-Pens in the neighborhood, however I'm always shocked someone is willing to put their life and death matters into my hands. I have fulfilled this function for four people in the last year and a half. I can proudly boast I have not lost a patient yet -- misplaced a few, but they always turn back up.

O.k. so this friend called to see if I could help her by bringing the drugs to her, but my kids had just started painting so I um-ed slightly, not really thinking of truly how urgent the situation was and that’s why I’m not in the ER. She said she’d try one of her other friends and apologized for bothering me and hung up. About 10 minutes later reality kicked and realized what I had just done. I tried to call her back, worried she had expired on the parking lot. And with the medical emergency record I had at the time, I didn't want to take any chances.

When the called went through she was just leaving the 'hood after taking a few Benadryl. Now, the driving home part was really not that great of a choice, because with anaphylaxis you never know what will happen next. I advised, she stop by and get the liquid stuff for her throat. When she got to the door hives were appearing on her face. She slugged back the lovely pink stuff and said she had to get back to the riding stables, which she wasn't supposed to leave in the first place. Kid's on horses, moms not around . . . make the stable owners a bit crabby. I offered to drive her and her other child back and she said no, no, no. I asked if this other kid with her knew how to call 911 and she accepted my offer. We arrived at the stable, no one knew anything had happened. The kids and I got to see little girls completing on horses and two colts. It was a win-win.

Public Service Announcement
Honestly, with an allergic reaction, erring on the side of caution is always favorable. Your body can turn against itself so quickly you'll think your o.k. and the next you know you're very, very NOT o.k. So, if your husband appears after a bee sting with bright red hive-y patches covering his body talking in a strange high voice, or your friend appears at your door with a swollen and distorted face and talking with a lisp or your other friend arrives with a small child, who's the offspring of a severely bee allergic father and the kid has just been stung . . . take it seriously.

The Anchor Returns

Holy Crap! I have been casted again and it is all my fault.

The Achilles has not healed at all, in fact personally I believe it's worse. All of this is because I stopped wearing my CAM walker, the hideous thing. But I must remember that during the initial casting nothing good happened . . . why you ask? Well, because I never sat the hell down. I could opt for surgery which will mean crutches for 9 nine weeks and probably a CAM Walker for a couple months, or I can try to actually not do anything and hopefully heal. Dr. Benenati say he had one woman who did it without surgery and it took a year. A year! Holy Super Crap! After much "himming and hawing" we decided to attempt the cast again and I have to stop doing stuff. I really like doing stuff though. I came home from the appointment today with my lovely cast and sat down on the couch to read and instantly fell asleep. That's what happens if I don't do stuff I sleep. Because normally if I'm not doing something I'm sleeping. If you remember a previous blog you'll know why this causes me great personal anguish.

That's my dilemma.

Doing Good Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap

Every once and a while we have one of those really full days. Today was that day. Hopefully I'm done for a few weeks. I just schedule everything on the same day. One day completely makes me insane, then I'm done. I think I must like the chaos, or else why would I do this to myself repeatedly.

First thing this morning #1 and #2 had dentist appointments. #1 had a filling and sealants to be done. #2 just had sealants. They scheduled them at the same time, so I took many trips down the hallway checking on them back and forth. They both did exceptional well, better than they are doing right now going to sleep. Anyway, I walked into Gus' examine room to check on his progress and Dr. Dan is drilling away. Gus was in this insane position. Imagine a dentist chair. They're pretty long chairs. Gus in only using the "back" portion. He gotten himself squished all the way into a squatting position, but his head almost off the headrest. It didn't seem to bother Dr. Dan. Will just sailed through the sealants. Both guys really impressed me with their patience.

Next up, Lisa called and needed a ride to her school; she still isn't allowed to drive. She enticed me with lunch. There wasn't a lot of arm twisting. Anyway, I dropped the kids off at school after the dentist and picked her up. We dined then headed over to her school. Because pre-teens and teens completely freak me out I chose to stay in the car. I had picked up the mail, so I went through that, played a brain game on my cell phone, and well . . . took a little nap. It was really quite pleasant, looking out over the football field at the autumnal hues coming from the adjacent wood. Lisa suddenly appeared and we were off. She came back to my place and I prepared dinner and let the crock pot toil away. I love that feeling. As Lisa put it, "It's makes me feel like a good wife." I have to agree. Dinner's done hours before it due.

Griffin arrived and we headed off to the chiropractor for the weekly back crack. We returned home as did the big boys and we were off to get flu shots. Now that is an adventure I had not attempted alone yet. We have had appalling behavior in the past. The older two would go into these hysterics and Griffin would follow suit. They found shelter under the examining table and we had to peel, literally peel little boys out from under it as they white-knuckled the support bar. They would clamp their little arms down as they screamed, so you couldn't get their sleeves up. Unfortunately, Joe and I were never any comfort because their screams and cries were so exaggerated from the actual pain of the event we just ended up cracking up. To add insult to injury the nurse and my mother, if she had come help would also start laughing also. I'm actually chuckling a bit just thinking about it now. It was a horrible kind of laugh to, like laughing at church. You must stifle it.

After the mornings round at the dentist I just knew they could handle it with style and grace. And I'm proud to admit they did. Will decided to go first. Surprise! He flipped out a little, but keep it together and Gus only needed to hold the beloved Chick and have me tickle his back. For him it was over before he knew it began. Our littlest victim knew all along was happening, complaining when we arrived in the parking lot that he wanted to go to a different building. Nice try. It was almost impossible to get his little arm out from under his sweater, but we did it and a quick acting nurse nailed him, right when the crying started. He was done and instantly stopped freaking out.

A very full day, conversely tomorrow will be boring. Oh, woe is me.

I'm on my fourth day of being Diet Pepsi free. I was absolutely incapacitated by a headache most of the day Saturday. I blame the lack of Diet Pepsi and therefore lack of caffeine. My head is still a little funky today, but still I have not caved. I did however have a dream last night that I accidentally drank one at a party.

We're all impatiently waiting for Gus' friend Ben to arrive to go bowling. I'm as excited as Gus I think. Ben and Gus were in pre-school together and they ask about each other constantly. I don't think they've play together for three years. We ran into them at Chloe's First Communion, in the Spring, but haven't worked anything out until now.

This will be the second time I've bowled in two days, it's becoming a habit. A very small group of the GG's went bowling Friday night, just for something different to do. I happily came in as first loser.

Fast Times

So what did you do today? I hung out with a friend recovering from surgery and watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I've probably seen the thing in bits and pieces 20 times, but it's always been on t.v. All the good parts were censored out. So, I was quite shocked at all the boobs. Jennifer Jason Leigh looks like she's about 10, however was 20 and Phoebe Cates was 19. I wonder how I would feel about my 20 year old daughter's boobs being on the big screen. Ummmm. . . .

Anyway, it was a blast from the past. Lisa and I had fun talking about ourselves back then, but hell I was only 12 when it released so I had a couple more years to really indentity with the characters. The movie did keep my mind off the Diet Pepsi, so far no cravings. This I did wake up this morning and immediately say, "No Diet Pepsi" to myself.

O.k. now I have to rush around and do everything I should have done today, before Joe gets home. I'm so 1950's.

NDP Day

I finally arrived. I've been awaiting it's arrival and here it is, No Diet Pepsi Day. I have a bit of an addiction. I'm way past the first part. I'm willingly and openly admitting it. I got that diet Pepsi (DP) monkey off my back for about three years during my pregnancy with Gus and Will, then I started using again. It started slow, a DP at a party, when out to eat. You know social drinking. Then I broke down and I bought some for the house. That was that, I was hooked again. I was going to drive thru's within in a matter of days. It called to me. "Have a DP. You know you want one. Come on. It's o.k. DP won't tell a soul."

Well, I'VE HAD ENOUGH. So, I'm going cold turkey again. Day #1 here I come. I think I feel a withdraw headache coming on. Wish me luck.